Spaced Out
by Omega Overlord
Summary: Xigbar is a wily one. Larxene is going to find that out firsthand. Larxene Xigbar oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Kingdom Hearts portrayed within.

Larxene, the Savage Nymph, wandered the hallways of the castle in The World That Never Was. She had been growing increasingly more irritable as the last few days had passed. Mostly due to a lack of missions that satisfied her lust for pain. Not her own pain, but her desire to cause pain for others. Even tearing her way through Twilight Town and terrorizing all the little children was good enough. She was suddenly aware that there was a shadow hanging over her. She looked up… Xigbar was standing upside down in thin air, perusing a sales catalog for vintage firearms.

She spoke, "Why bother looking? You can't get any of those unless you spend days killing heartless. Which Xemnas has pretty much told us not to do."

Xigbar tilted his head 'up' for him and looked down at her, "Can't get on my case for looking, Nymph. Some of these things are really cool, they have an original 44 magnum revolver for only 10000 munny, and it still shoots!"

She summoned one of her knives and started to idly toss it up and down, "You are such an idiot. Like Xemnas would ever authorize you to spend that much cash on an antique gun."

Xigbar shouts indignantly, "This thing can kill a person in one shot!"

She throws her knife at the Free Shooter, "So can this."

The knife shoots straight up… and vanishes.

Xigbar flourishes one of his guns, her knife was sticking out of the barrel, "Thanks for the extra shot Larxene. I've got the perfect place for this baby to go."

The Free Shooter points the gun and shoots her knife off down the hall.

She watches her knife fly off down the corridor, "…Great shot, dumbass."

A half- second later the knife sticks into the left side of her rear end. She gives a scream of pain, but mostly her scream was one of surprise.

Xigbar starts laughing hysterically at the little hopping and skipping dance she was doing, "Priceless… You should have seen the look on your face the instant your own knife stuck you in the ass!"

She pulled the knife out of her rear, now royally pissed off, "Let's see how much you're laughing when I shock you with a couple of thousand volts!"

A huge thunderbolt shoots out of her fingers at the suspended nobody.

Xigbar vanishes and reappears on the floor several feet away, "Missed me!"

She threw another bolt, again Xigbar teleported away.

Xigbar starts chuckling, "Wow Larxene, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!"

She attacked again, and again, and again… every time Xigbar nimbly teleported away from her thunderbolts with a mocking laugh and a snappy comment. Her strength was fading quickly, but she ignored it as long as she could. She threw one last bolt and fell to her knees, panting heavily.

Xigbar appears in front of her, "Come on Larxene, don't stop! I was just starting to get a good workout!"

She looked up at him… and stuck up her middle finger.

Both of Xigbar's guns appear in his hands, "Well… if you won't entertain me in that way… Let's see how well you can dance!"

Her eyes flew wide as the Free Shooter launched a flurry of shots at her. One hit the floor just next to her foot and she reflexively pulled her foot up and away. Then a larger volley of shots started to pepper the floor around her, forcing her to do a humiliating little dance vaguely resembling something from an old western movie.

She yelled, "Cut it out!!!"

At her cry the bullets stopped flying.

Xigbar laughs, "That was all you had to do you know. Tell me to stop."

She looked up, "And I have been here how long without saying anything like that?"

Xigbar starts to count on his fingers, "Let's see… about six years I think."

She stood slowly, "And why should I have said it this time?"

Xigbar traces the side of her face with his finger, "Because it gives me a reason to not shoot you."

She slaps his hand away, "If you're trying to get on my good side it isn't going to work."

The Free Shooter smirks, "Oh Really?"

Xigbar grabs the back of her head and, before she could react in any way, kisses her once on the lips.

The Free Shooter sprang back through a portal with a parting, "See ya round Nymph!"

She stood stock still… complete and utter shock rooting her in place. Did he just… kiss her?!?!? By the heat building in her face she would guess that she hadn't been hallucinating. Now she was confused, first he shoots her in the rear, then he makes her do a humiliating dance or get her feet shot off, then he kisses her????? There was no sense to that chain of events at all.

She opened a portal to the Proof of Existence and barged into Xigbar's room. Xigbar was floating about a foot over his bed, perusing the same catalog.

She starts to rant, "Are you crazy or just stupid? Thinking that you can get away with that…" After about half an hour she runs out of things to say.

Xigbar just looks at her with an amused expression on his face, "Look Larx, we're all crazy. If I decide to start a more than platonic relationship with the only female around here no one is going to give it a thought other than the first 'you're crazy'."

Surprise rendered her speechless, "You… you actually meant it???"

Xigbar drops to the floor, "Well duh! I'm not always the sarcastic, irresponsible nothing that everyone else makes me out as. And besides… it's always good to have something to shoot for."

She felt a smirk spreading across her face, "You are obsessed with shooting things aren't you?"

Xigbar cups his hand around her waist, "You know it, and I never miss."


End file.
